Today, I believe one of the reasons I can calmly tell the story of leaving my thirty-year corporate career is because, ultimately, I left on my terms and that mattered.
The circumstances were certainly not peaceful. Yet it felt like one of the clearest decisions I had ever made even though it carried the highest stakes.
After my meeting with the CEO and HR, the message was unmistakable. My options were to leave immediately or, as was put to me, be “tied up in court for the next ten years.” A dilemma which sadly has become too familiar.
I walked out of the meeting and called my husband. I said, “Honey, give me three reasons why I should stay in the Bank.” That wasn’t a casual question. For months, we had spoken about what I could see unfolding around me. He knew the pressure. He knew the changes taking place. He knew the values I had spent my professional life trying to uphold.
His answer was simple. “You do what you think is best for you.”
Looking back, I realise he wasn’t helping me make the decision. He recognised that I had already decided.
At the time, I couldn’t have explained it the way I can today. I simply knew that staying would not improve where this was heading.
Everything I had observed told me that the thinking behind what was taking place was not open to discussion, negotiation or persuasion.
It had already decided what it wanted. The only decision left was mine. Not whether I would eventually leave. But whether I would leave on my terms…or theirs.
I chose mine.
Years later, I understand that decision differently. At the time, I thought I was walking away from a job. Now I realise I was walking towards who I was becoming.
Staying a little longer may have delayed my departure. It would also have required me to be someone I did not want to become. That was a price I was not prepared to pay.
Many people find themselves in situations they know cannot continue. Sometimes it is a job or a business partnership. Maybe a relationship. Sometimes something much quieter.
The circumstances may be different. The question is often the same.
Sometimes the decision is no longer whether to leave or stay.
Sometimes the decision is whether your next step will be taken on your terms…or someone else’s.
Looking back, I no longer see my departure as a career decision. I see it as a becoming decision.
One which allowed me to leave with my integrity intact, my dignity preserved, and my future still my own.
Reflect & Apply
1️⃣ What area is there in your life where you already know the direction things are heading?
2️⃣ What decision are you delaying because you hope the inevitable will somehow change?
3️⃣ If you must make a decision, what would it mean to make it on your terms?
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Courageously,
Monica Rogers-Fletcher
Listen to Deciding On Your Terms.